Christmas, BAH, HUMBUG!

According to my calculations, Black Friday SHOULD be on November 28 this year. But au contrair my friends. Leaks of the Black Friday's circulars from every major store have been abounding for the past three weeks. Not only that, but you can get Black Friday online specials as we speak.

Right after if not before the turkey has been devoured, stores will be opened at 6:00p.m. and remain so round the clock until the weekend is officiallly over. There are Thursday sales, Black Friday events, and of course, Cyber Monday phnomenal prices online.

Now if all of this hasn't caused your anxiety levels to go through the roof,  try to compare prices on those items your family members MUST HAVE this holiday. Every store claims they have the lowest prices yet when you check them out, most are the same as their competitors, and in some cases even higher.

 Free shipping is dangled in front of your weary eyes, but that too, comes with a hitch. You've got to spend a certain amount BEFORE free shipping can be attained. I think the only store to give free shipping no matter what your total happens to be is Target. Now I don't work for Target or own stock in the company, I'm just giving you the benefit of my long, frustration search at not cost!

So on and on it goes: searching, comparing, purchasing, exchanging only to find out a week before Christmas that your three year old grandson doesn't want Thomas the Train escape from the avalanche set any more! You throw your hands in the air and begin the process all over again. But most of the hot items no longer grace the shelves and are out of stock online. If in fact you do find his new obsession, you'll have to pay through the nose to purchase it.

When all is said and done and the presents are wrapping and piled under the glowing lights of the beautifully-decorated fir tree, you can finally breath a deserved sigh of relief.

As the family gathers, you distribute the gifts with a certain pride and feeling of accomplishment. Within minutes the wrappings are ripped off, the boxes are opened, a few words of appreciation are mumbled, and a number of disappointed statements are articulated very distinctly. The adults are a little more discreet in their comments, but the kids tell it like it is. "This isn't what I wanted," or "he got more than I did," or "This thing is stupid!" rings through your ears like the scratching of finger nails on a chalkboard.

After tossing their MUST HAVE gifts to the side, the kids don their winter gear and head out to sled ride without even so much as a backward glance at all your hard work and effort you've extented to make their dreams come true.

Need I go on? I don't think there's anything more to be said except, now everybody say it with me,
"CHRISTMAS, BAH, HUMBUG!"

THE ZOMBEES ARE HERE!

The article about the zomBEES in my morning paper just blew me away. It seems that parasitic flies, the A. borealis are injecting worker bees with their eggs. When the larvae emerge, they feast on the insides of the bees, leaving them lifeless, only their shells remaining.

This got me thinking about last week's elections. Months before any votes were cast, political wanna-Bees were injecting us, the workers in this country, with their idealistic eggs of change. A vote for them was a vote for our economic and educational advancement. If they were victorious, naturally our lives would reap an abundance of wealth and knowledge. Seemed like a win-win situation for everybody!

But before we start banking our windfall and spouting words of wisdom, we'd better wait until the newly-elected larvae hatch. And you can bet your bottom dollar, it won't be long before these worms begin eating away at our income and our hopes for a smarter America.

Political promises are easily made, but rarely kept. Politicians can and will say anything to get our votes. Unfortunately once elected, they develop a severe case of amnesia usually lasting throughout their tenure. The only vow they seem to embrace is the one that puts power in their hands and money in their pockets.

How could we have been so dumb to have been taken in by these parasites? The answer is relatively easy. Since July we've been bombarded with media ads defaming the characters and actions of the men and women running for office. As the elections drew nearer, the ads grew in number and the nastiness. As time went on, we became zombies regarding these false claims. We saw them with our eyes, but became devoid of thought and resolution. The candidates we viewed more often, were the ones that would ultimately get our votes.

Little if any change will occur. Promises of jobs will be forgotten, taxes for education will rise, but won't be spent on our children, and our trust in the political process will again be compromised.

The insatiblity of the elected larvae will gnaw away at our insides until they've fully engorged themselves. And once again, we'll be left lifeless of hope, only shells of our former selves.

We've become ZOMBEES! And we have nobody to blame but ourselves!

VERY FUNNY!

So one of those Facebook tests popped up yesterday. I enjoy taking them to see what kind of dog I am, what my quick IQ is, what kind of mother I am, etc. The title of this one was How good is your sense of humor?

The test was comprised of 16 questions. My job was to determine which were funny and which were not. I'm not going to disclose any of the queries because I don't want to give you a heads-up if you should decide to try this one. I have to say a few were tricky, but for my part I thought most were hilarious.

Drum roll, please!  My score was, are you ready for this?  You sure?  Okay, the score for how good my sense of humor is was 99.9%. Oh, yeah, baby, a freakin .001 degree off from PERFECT!

So you think just being in my presence will tickle your belly and make your ribs hurt? Certainly!

So you can't believe somebody is that funny and if by chance they were, so why aren't they doing comedy for a living?  I am, I'm just NOT GETTING PAID FOR IT!

Having a great sense of humor has so many benefits to mind, body, and soul. At age 70, my mind is always churning, finding the 'funny' in everything no matter how serious the topic. When my father-in-law was laid out in the funeral home, I questioned why he was giving us the 'cold shoulder'!

So I'm a little overweight. If I don't care, WHY IN THE HELL SHOULD YOU? I can do most everything I could do 50 years ago except run as fast and do the split. Actually I wasn't very fast then either, and I COULDN'T DO A SPLIT even if there had been a sizable payout involved!

Oh, boy, and has my soul ever benefited from being blessed with a great sense of humor! I'm Catholic yet I'm so happy in spirit that going to confession has been OUT OF THE QUESTION for twenty years! If I'm a sinner, THAT'S NEWS TO ME. I speak no evil and hear no evil. As far as seeing any evil, well other than admitting to watching a little hanky-panky once in a while, I just KEEP MY EYES CLOSES if evil comes a knocking!

A sense of humor is a blessing. If you've been given this talent, you're expected to use it. Making people laugh restores their positive energies and keeps them healthy. Making people laugh does exactly the same thing for the humorist.

Playing the fool isn't for everybody. After all, if everybody had a 'funny bone', whom would I be able to make fun of? Serious folks provide folks like me with a treasure load of one liners on a daily basis.Thanks, TIGHT ASSES, I truly appreciate you!

How good is your sense of humor? didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. The things that come out of my mouth are never scripted, they just pop out of my inner self unfiltered. I never intend to insult or embarrass anybody, but it what I say comes across negatively I don't apologize. Again, it's not because I'm mean, it's because I am who I am, FUNNY, VERY FUNNY!

I think the test got it wrong though, 99.9% humorous? If I'm not 100% FUNNY which I know for a fact that I am, then I'm not funny at all!

AND I AM FUNNY, VERY FUNNY, VERY, VERY FUNNY!

SIMPLY AMAZING!

If you didn't see the Steelers/Colts game yesterday, you missed a simply amazing execution of offensive excellence led by Ben Roethlisberger and his awesome line. The defense wasn't too shabby either although they gave up 34 points.

What was so great was that even with a record of 4-3 going into yesterday's game, the Steeler's wins were lackluster and hardly memorable. But I guarantee you that last night's game will go down in franchise history. Let's see: 1. Ben won his 100th game, 2. He set an NFL record of having two 500+yards games which no one else had ever done including Brady and Manning. 3. He scored 6 touchdowns which had never been accomplished by any Steeler's quarterback before.

Another aspect of note was that everybody that was healthy had a hand in this phenomenal show of teamwork. Both Todd Haley and Dick LeBeau came up with strategies that were well-planned and well-executed. In the past, Haley used run, run, pass, which often led to three and out. Yesterday, the mix of plays included short and long passes, runs by both Bell and Blount, and involvement by every WR on the roster. Pouncey and Miller along with the entire offensive line kept Big Ben on his feet, not allowing one sack the entire game. LeBeau replaced his down-the-field defense with an in-our-face blitz time and time again. Andrew Luck was hit and sacked on just about every snap. His dirty uniform was testament to how well Timmons, Keisel, Worilds, Shazier, and Heyward played. If I failed to mention anybody else instrumental in keeping Luck down, please forgive me.

Hats off to the guys who've been on the team for ten or more years. Heath Miller, Brett Keisel, Troy Polamalu, and James Harrison were in rare form. The relatively new players, Brown, Bryant, Wheaton, and Moats sizzled. The interceptions by William Gay and Antwon Blake were sensational. And certainly last, but far from not least, head coach,Mike Tomlin, your determination to keep moving forward is perhaps the most important element of all. When times are good, you remind the team that the season isn't over, and when times are bad, you remind the team  that the SEASON ISN'T OVER! A steady hand always rights the course.

I've been a Steelers fan for over 50 years. In the 70's, and 80's yesterday they played with the same intensity that they did during those eras in which they were Super Bowl Champs four times. In 2006 and then again in 2009, they captured their fifth and sixth rings, the only team in NFL history to do that.

Yesterday I got the feeling we were back to the Steelers of Old. Their play and attitude made me feel young again. My enthusiasm was over the moon. I love this team with my whole heart. I am involved in every play and at the end of every game win or lose, I'm totally exhausted!

Yesterday you guys were SIMPLY AMAZING!  Thanks for taking this old lady back to a time in her youth when those Steelers were SIMPLY AMAZING, too!  love ya'll

DEFLATED IN PITTSBURGH!

Yep, I'm bummed out. The Steelers lost to the Cleveland Browns, 31-10. As usual, they started out with a series of plays that led them to the Red Zone, and had to settle for a lousey three points. After three plays and out by the Browns, again the Steelers went down to Cleveland's twenty yard line and instead of a touchdown, had to kick a field goal, botched it and scored a big, fat zero!

Oh, actually what I've just recounted could be considered Pittsburgh's Monday morning highlights. All of a sudden, in about the span of three minutes, the Browns were winning 14 - 3, and a short time later, 21-3.

I was so frustrated, I picked up my car keys and went shopping. Bought two pair of jeans and a sweater before returning home. Now the score was 31-3. Decided to take my dog for a walk. When I came through the door 30 minutes later, the game was over. Thank God! And although the Steelers finally did score seven points to make it 31-10, their efforts did little to brighten my mood.

Fast forward to today's Trib Sports page. Headline reads: Bad Ben is big problem for Steelers! Are you freakin' kidding me? Yes, according to this article, in case Ben wasn't aware of it, he's in a passing league. For the first three possessions, he handed off the ball instead of passing. I believe Ben only passed once during that time and it was to Wheaton, who of course couldn't pull the ball in. Was Ben the one calling the plays? I doubt it. Surely Haley has to take responsibility for a lot of the decisions that were made. Between Wheaton, Brown, and even my beloved, Heath Miller, more balls were dropped than snowflakes during a winter blizzard!

And what about the defense? They couldn't plug up a leaky faucet much less keep the Cleveland running backs from chewing up 10 to 20 yards at a clip! They gave the Browns' quarterback time to have a beer and a bratwurst before letting the ball go and still couldn't sack him!

With all their problems, you'd think I'm down only on the players. Au contrair! Coaching was abysmal from top to bottom. Tomlin had no answers. LeBeau was clueless. And Haley, well forget about it!

Lastly, my biggest beef is with the Rooneys. You guys need to get your heads out of your arses and wipe the slate clean. If you want to return to the Steelers of old, take a good look at your leadership and have the gumption to make changes. Until you do, this fan is deflated much like the footballs you must have used in yesterday's game!

SHOULD WE STAY OR SHOULD WE GO?

We've lived in Western Pennsylvania our whole lives. Born, raised, educated, worked, married, and retired, here in good old PA. So what's the problem, you ask?

My hubby and I are in our seventies, our house and yard are too big, our winters, too cold, and our taxes, too high. Maintaining everything is getting to be a drag. It isn't that we're in poor health because we're still pretty spry. So we ask ourselves, "Should we stay or should we go?" Maybe the better questions are, "What is the RIGHT thing to do" vs "What is the SMART thing to do?"

Since we are so close to family and friends here, so familiar with our surroundings, our church, our communities, our medical professionals, our shopping areas, our entertainment venues, and our fitness center, to stay would be the RIGHT thing to do. As we age, comfort level is extremely important to our psyche. There's peace in having folks around who love and support us. Just like the infamous Norm of Cheers, "Everybody knows your name!" Although that may seem insignificant to some, most seniors take great joy in being recognized by name. Being confident in where to go and how to get there contributes to lowering a person's stress levels considerably. We know GPS takes the worry out of finding the best route to a specific destination, but there's nothing like being able to get there on your own.

Let's look at the SMART thing to do now. If we decided to move to the Carolinas where two of our three grown children and their families live, buy a smaller home in a gated 55+ Adult Community, join the Homeowners Association in order to free ourselves of house and yard maintenance, and pay lower taxes in almost every aspect of living, we'd also enjoy a  more peaceful and less stressful life. Granted we're not as familiar with our surroundings, but since we visit the South at least two or three times a year, we've gotten to know our way around. As far as finding a  church, shopping, entertainment, and a gym, we're good. Heck, we even know quite a few people by name, and they know ours. As far as writing my books which I started doing a few years ago, I can do that anywhere!

My hubby and I know we are closer to the end of our journey in this life than to its beginning. When one of us reaches that end, we want our beloved partner to be in a place that provides friendly companionship, carefree living, and peace of mind and soul. We want them to have many more happy experiences and be exposed to new and exciting adventures. We want their remaining days to be as good if not better than the ones we shared together.

So again I ask, "Should we stay or should we go?"  Those are our two options. Do we be RIGHT or do we be SMART? Got any advice for two young-minded codgers? If so, we'd like to hear it!

What is Truth And Where Can It Be Found?

I've been reading the newspapers since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. My first exposure was to the comic strips in the Pittsburgh Press. Nancy and Sluggo were my favorite characters. As I grew in body and mind, the stories on the front page caught my interest. They were usually about some hometown happening or national event. I was always struck by how quickly a reporter could turn what he or she had heard about or had actually witnessed into print. I never once doubted their veracity because if it made it to the papers, it had to be the truth!

Fast forward to present day. Now I read the Tribune Review. I still read the comics, but usually wait till the last possible moment. I want to end with a smile on my face and some peace in my heart. The front page almost always presents the latest tragedy, terrorism, or trauma in gigantic headlines. Even if I try to overlook them, the horrors of the day hit me in the face like a Tyson uppercut. Leafing through the rest of the paper is no better. National news focuses on dissidents and warfare from across the globe. My only reprieve is the occasional full-page department store sales ad.

And if all of that isn't enough to make a grown woman cry, the political page rears its ugly head. Column after column is devoted to either elevating the deeds of a current incumbent or bashing the very same person for the very same deeds. Then there are the stories about the challengers who have either led a life of crime, or if elected, are about to become criminals. Starting in late August and reaching well into the last few days of October, the only news is about November elections be they local, state, or national. There are no holds barred. Whether what is written is true or not, it makes absolutely no difference. If it serves to get a preferred candidate votes, that's all that really matters.Integrity and morality have no place in the newspaper world today. Honesty and values don't generate interest and do little to secure political victories.

Please don't think I'm ragging on the Tribune Review because I'm not. The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette does the exact same thing. USA Today, likewise! And every other paper on the planet!

Unfortunately the truth is low on the list of politician priorities. It has been so twisted that what is true can no longer be recognized and where it can be found is a mystery to me!

Oh, wait, I take that back. Truth does reside in most newspapers. You can find it in the comic strips!