Before I Leave

A while ago I wrote 'When Grammy Goes Away,' a children's book explaining loss of a loved one in terms youngsters could internalize and understand. It's dedicated to Brady, the first of my grandchildren, who is now a teenager. When it was published, he wanted to know why his book dealt with death. I told him since he was the eldest of the seven, he would be the one who could best comprehend my message. Brady has since come to terms with my decision, but doesn't like to think about the day when his grammy won't be in his world. I don't like the idea either.

My youngest grandson, Gabe, who will be three next month, is now obsessed with this book. He insists his mom read it every night, and knows if she tries to shorten it by skipping pages. The best part for Gabe is to get to the end and see my face smiling back at him.

With each passing year, I get closer to the end of my journey. Oh, don't get me wrong, I have no immediate plans to leave this world. As a matter of fact, I've set the number of my existence at 102! If I make it, I still have 30 more wonderful years to go.

www.amazon.com/flobarnett

Oftentimes my family asks what I want for Mother's Day, my birthday, or Christmas. I usually pick something both my hubby and I could enjoy together like a favorite restaurant gift card, or a replacement for an item that has bit the dust during the passed year. Lately though, I've been thinking what gift would make me the happiest I've ever been. And believe it or not, I actually have come up with an answer.

Before I leave I want to experience peace and harmony in the world with my children and their families. To me that means there would be no more war, no more hatred between races, no more senseless killings over petty issues, no more lying to achieve selfish goals, no more bullying others for the sake of self-indulgence, no more negativity in the media to up ratings, not more ugly words exchanged between neighbors, no more familial estrangements, not for one more day, not for one more minute.

And I've found the simply answer to making my dream a reality. Start with the young! Teach your children from the get-go that difference is beautiful, that diversity is to be embraced, not feared, and that living together in peace and harmony will bless them in every way, making their lives heaven on earth. Youngsters are like sponges, they sop up every word you say, every feeling you convey, every message you send.

My newest book, 'Preschool Friends A-Z Around the World' is a little contribution to helping you and your children explore diversity in a fun and factual way. In this story,  you and yours will meet 26 children who come from all parts of the world with strange names and different physical appearance. But what's the same is that they all attend preschool, do the same things like playing dress-up, building with blocks, swinging on the playground, and using their imaginations to make glorious creations. These activities bind children together no matter what creed, color, or culture they've been born into. When you expose children at an early age to difference you become the conduit through which their understanding is solidified. You give them the unique opportunity to be facilitators of peace and harmony in their preschools, their homes, their communities, their workplaces, and most importantly, their world.

You don't know me,but if you start teaching your children now to embrace diversity, you'll be gifting me with what I want most in life before I leave,the chance to witness everybody living together in peace and harmony throughout the world.

Hey, I believe you'll do it, after all, you still have 30 years before I plan to kick the bucket!

Coming this April to Amazon

MARCH MADNESS!

It's that time again when all there is on TV is basketball. They call it 'March Madness' and I must confess I'm mad about it! No, not mad that all you can watch is basketball for the next two weeks, but mad, like crazy about it, can't get enough obsessive, out of my mind possessed with it!

I've loved this sport since I made the first-ever girls' team at Vincentian High in 1959. In those days there were six players on the court which was literally divided into two sections, one for the three offensive players, and one for those on defense (3). Neither group was permitted to cross the center line. I was a defender since I couldn't hit the side of a barn when it came to scoring points. However I was a scrappy player who fought like mad to steal the ball and throw it to the other side where the shooters were waiting patiently for their chance to make a bucket.

Sounds weird to you, doesn't it? Actually the game had its highs and lows just like it does today. Taking the ball away from the opposing team and heaving it to my teammates was just as exciting then as it it now. The fans in the bleachers howled with delight, knowing their team had another chance to put two more on the scoreboard. When points resulted, we, the defenders were elated that our efforts made it possible even though those on offense took the bows.

Girls' high school teams didn't look like they do now for another reason, too. We didn't wear the cool tank tops and silky shorts that they jump around in these days. Ours was a one piece cotton suit that zipped up the middle and showed as little skin as possible. I think the shorts came down to our knees, and we wore socks that stretched almost to our knees, so the only body parts showing below the waist were our knee caps! But we weren't embarrassed since that was the look of the times, and we were just proud to be wearing the coveted uniform of the Vincentian girls' basketball team.

I have no idea whether or not we ever played in a championship game, but my guess is we didn't. But what was important then was that I got the chance to play the game I loved. Just being on the court representing my high school gave me such a high, one that if I close my eyes now, I can still remember with pride and satisfaction. Being part of the team gave me such a feeling of belonging, and the opportunity to form bonds with the other players that existed long after the wins and defeats were in the history books.

I suspect that the teams going into the NCAA 2016 Tournament experience similar emotions. Every player truly loves the game because if they didn't they wouldn't put themselves through all the grueling practices and travel that basketball demands. They wouldn't expose themselves to possible injury and humiliating defeat. The sense of belonging and the ties that bind forever are much more important than what the score columns show. Yes, winning this year's NCAA tournament would be a dream come true for any of the participating teams, but basketball provides so much more than winning the final four, it prepares you for life and supplies you with friendships and memories that will live on in your heart long after the lights on the courts are dimmed.

Of course I've filled out my brackets and am hopeful the team I've selected to win it all will succeed. However I'm not going to reveal my choice to you at this time. You'll just have to wait and see.

Go __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __   __ __!

The 'Spotlight' On SPOTLIGHT

Last week my hubby and I decided to see an afternoon flick, and since it won the Oscar for best film this year, we chose SPOTLIGHT. Now we knew about this movie's content, but as Catholics were still very interested in the facts of the Boston Globe's 2004 investigation into child abuse by priests. What they exposed was a horrific cover-up by the church's leaders that went on for decades, and sadly continues today.

Although the statistics presented were staggering, only about 6% of the clergy from around the world are known abusers. Please don't think I'm trying to minimize what these children have had to endure at the hands of the sexual predators, because I'm certainly not. What is critical though is that we understand the facts and be fair in our judgement.

I'm not going to reiterate what SPOTLIGHT so skillfully depicted because I could never do it justice, and if you are so inclined, you can see it for yourselves.

After the movie, my hubby and I discussed it at length. Again I won't impose our views on you, but we concluded that the best action the diocesan bishops could take would be to have every parish priest offer his congregation a time to get together to discuss this matter honestly with no holds barred.

And as if by divine intervention, the very next Sunday, it happened!

Because of our own pastor's failing health, a visiting priest had the Mass we attending. The gospel was the story of the Prodigal Son. It's one most known for the unconditional love a father has for his children no matter who or what they've become. To make a long story short, one of this man's son's leaves home, lives a life of debauchery, while the older son stays by his father's side doing what is expected of him. When the wayward boy returns, his father accepts him with open arms, calling for a great celebration to be held in his honor. The loyal son is disturbed by his father's generosity, asking for an explanation. You have been with me always and for that I'm certainly grateful, but your brother has come back, has asked to be allowed to lie down with the pigs to make reparation for his unsavory deeds, and for that I'm also grateful was the gist of this father's comments.

Although the celebrant never once mentioned the movie, his sermon hit right to the heart of the matter regarding sexual abuse in the Catholic church. He invited us to picture the father, God, standing in the middle between those of us who have greatly sinned much like the predatory clergy, and those of us who though sinners as well, have tried to walk in the way of Christ to the best of our abilities. As we approach Our Father from both ends of the spectrum, He extends His loving arms and offers forgiveness and compassion to all. Having been cleansed of our wrong-doings, God celebrates our return with food and drink by inviting us to partake of the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ.

His sermon put everything into perspective for me. No matter what horrible actions we're guilty of, God will always forgive if we only ask. I'm not saying that the abusive clergy shouldn't be held accountable because they definitely should be. Their actions were and are criminal, and they must take responsibility for them and suffer the consequences. Long jail sentences and stringent rehabilitation are certainly in order for these offenders. Their priestly duties should be terminated, never being allowed to celebrate Mass, hear confessions, or be in contact with children again. Those who were involved in the cover-ups should be stripped of their powers so they may never be instrumental in the continuation of these horrific atrocities.

But as far as our judgement of these priests, we are not without sin and therefore do not qualify to make them. Only God, Our Father, is both judge and jury in this matter. And only when these sexual predators sincerely ask for forgiveness at the foot of the Cross, will they be welcome back to the Father's home.

What we can do is evident, keep an open-mind and pray for not only the leaders and priests of the church, and the abused and their families, but for all congregations who are appalled and confused by what they've seen and heard. Mostly we need to pray that we refrain from judgement lest we be judged as well.

Should Young Adults Vote?

After reading the morning paper today and saw a picture of a young girl sporting a sign in support of Bernie Sanders, I had to ask myself, 'Should Young Adults Vote?' Now I assure you I have nothing against young people nor do I necessarily view Sanders as unfit to run our country.

I guess I question how much this generation of voters knows about the process itself, and more importantly, how much they know about the candidates seeking nomination and the tactics they use to win. When I became eligible to voice my opinion for the first time, I did so mostly to boast that I'd voted. Secondly, since my family had always identified themselves as 'Democrats', although I don't remember, I'm sure I voted Democrat. Thirdly, depending on who my friends believed to be the best man for the job, had to have greatly influenced my own decision.

College kids now are certainly more informed. Politicians make it a point to visit campuses across the country. The internet provides these newbies with debates, current poll ratings, and who others their age view as worthy of their impeding vote. Economics, law, and political science classes have given them historical knowledge as well as up-to-date facts. No doubt all of this is beneficial when the time comes to act.

But what is missing, and in my humble opinion more critical than all the debates, polls and camaraderie put together, is life experience. Only when you've lived through countless elections and been terribly disappointed with what the candidates promised and what they actually achieved, do you scrutinize their speeches with rightful concern. Only when they are on top of the polls because they've assured you that your taxes will not be raised, yet knowing full well that they will be, do you question their veracity. And only when these casually-groomed politicians gather with families and friends in coffee shops and school gymnasiums making for great photo ops, do you see through their shallow attempts to make you believe they actually care about you and yours.

Perhaps instead of attending rallies, listening to planned debates, and talking to folks of similar age, young adults might learn more from their parents, grandparents, and veterans who have risked their lives to make sure our right to vote stays intact. After giving their elders a chance to help them understand the ins and outs of the political process and what effect it has on everyday living for the American people, would they be better armed to make their decision on primary and election days.

Yes, young adults should have the opportunity to vote, but only after they've exercised their duty to become well-informed by folks who have their best interests at heart, WE THE PEOPLE!

Ah, Sweet Spring!

Ever notice how Spring seems to creep up on you? A few days ago we were trudging through slush and snow, and now the sun is shining and I see buds on the forsythias. It's like Spring seeps into the earth without a sound, and then explodes into life taking us completely by surprise!

I love this season for so many reasons. It's the time for new life, for fresh starts, and for keeping the promises we've made to ourselves and others. Although I haven't heard the birds chirping yet,I know they're building their nests. In a matter of weeks I'll look up to the inside of our patio covering and see a mama robin warming her eggs. I'll smile and be amazed at how these creatures manage to build their homes and deposit their future offspring without my noticing. Every year I say I'm going to keep a watchful eye out for them, but every year they manage to elude my detection.

Fresh starts are what keeps hope alive. During the winter months, we've lost some of our drive to keep up with our exercise programs, continue with our New Year's resolutions, and be of service to those in need. Spring ignites our fires to get outside and walk a mile or two, prepare healthy meals, and give a helping hand to our friends and neighbors. Our souls are made light with the emergence of sunny skies.

This December I decided to start a new children's book series which is tentatively entitled, Together in Peace and Harmony. 'Preschool Friends Around the World, A- Z' Book 1 is now in the illustrative process. I promised myself that writing a story aimed at introducing diversity of race and culture to young children was what I could do to have them recognize difference, and embrace rather than fear it. I have always believed that personal experience with diversity was the only way we will ever come to see everybody as our brothers and sisters.It is the only way to bring about peace and harmony to our troubled world. If children are exposed early to others who are different than themselves, they naturally become comfortable with these diversions and gravitate to more experiences rather than run from them. I am planning publication for mid-March, a Spring promise I definitely will bring to fruition.

I've also promised to be there for folks who seem to be lost or in need. My nephew, Christopher is in a state prison in northern PA. For reasons I won't explain now, I've had little contact with him. Last week I decided to write him a letter that would hopefully lift his spirits knowing that someone is still there praying for him to turn his life around. Since my brother and his wife have passed, I'm his only remaining relative. I intend to continue our correspondence so as to make his life on the inside more bearable.

Our neighborhood is aging. There are many widows who live by themselves and have little contact with others.Traditionally Spring is the time to clean up our homes and yards.What a perfect opportunity to offer ourselves in assisting with window washing, sweeping the porch and setting out the wicker furniture, and just visiting a while shooting the breeze. This is another promise I intend to keep.

Ah, Sweet Spring! It makes my blood flow, my spirits rise, and my heart dance! I sincerely hope it does the same for you.

Presidential Candidates A Total Embarrassment!

Whether you're a Democrat or a Republican, you can't possibly be proud of the people running for nomination in this presidential race. Every single one of them from Clinton to Trump spend their time maligning the others instead of outlining their plans for a better tomorrow.

While visiting my hubby who is currently in the hospital, my ten-year-old granddaughter, Brenna, whispered to me that she hated politics.  When I asked her what she knew about politics, she said she didn't understand what the word actually meant, but every time she saw one of the candidates they had on fake smiles while they talked mean about everybody else, and the people in the crowd yelled and clapped to show their approval.

Immediately the scene with Jesus, bloodied, beaten, and crowned with thorns,standing before a mob of angry people popped into my mind. Pilate, a famous political figure during Roman times, was flanked on either side by Jesus and a notorious criminal, Barabbas. So as not to be held responsible for the death of Christ, Pilate asked the crowd to make a choice. We all know the results of their vote, "Crucify him, crucify him," they yelled, choosing Jesus as the victim. To further show his lack of responsibility for their decision, Pilate dipped his hands into a water bowl to wash himself clean of any wrongdoing.

This is a perfect example of the meaning of politics as far as I'm concerned. The candidates take as many punches as they can to defile the others whether what they say has any founded credibility. The more mud they can sling, the happier they are. And if by chance, a potential nominee drops out of the race because he or she is bloodied and beaten beyond recognition, the others look for that water bowl to cleanse themselves of having anything to do with the premature departure of one more politician who might have been the person who could have done the most good.

It's been said that money is the root of all evil. The election process in our country today has more to do about who has the most money, rather than who is most qualified to be president. Consequently we have people running for the highest office in the land who have little to no experience in governing,
know next to nothing about the Constitution, and don't really care about the problems of every day people. Most of them are in it for the privilege of being called, Mr. President or Ms. President, and will say anything to achieve their objective. However once in office, all  promises made take a back seat to personal political gain.

If a ten-year-old can see through the ugliness of current politics, why can't we who have the power to vote? Instead of choosing a candidate who happens to represent our party, why not make it our business to study all those in the race and base our vote on gathered facts and careful assessment.

When Brenna asked me for whom I would be voting, I was sad to say that for the first time in my life I wasn't sure I'd be exercising my right to vote because the few I most-likely would have considered had already dropped out of the race. The rest of the candidates still vying for nomination, in my humble opinion, are a total embarrassment to our political system, to our beloved country, and above all, to themselves.

DENVER DEFENSE DOMINATES!

I've seen all 50 Super Bowls, but never have I witnessed a defense like the Denver Broncos put on the field yesterday! Hats off to Wade Phillips and his group of dedicated, determined players! I truly believe they were playing for Peyton Manning so he could leave the game of football in a blaze of glory. When your purpose is selfless, your efforts are for the elevation of someone other than yourself, your energies run high, and your chances for success are great.

Miller, Ware, Ward, and all of the other defensive players refused to let this opportunity pass by without a win. You could tell they were on a mission, and were not going to leave the stadium without MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Peyton didn't play well, but he did play smart. He knew his days of throwing the long bomb and hitting his targets were over. He could have insisted on trying, and perhaps lost the game because of interceptions. Instead this humble amazing quarterback handed off to his running backs, willing to accept short gains that would eventually lead to victory. That's the sign of a true leader, have faith in your men and  rely on them to do what they've trained for.

I hope Cam Newton learned something about leadership and professionalism during those 60 minutes so that he may someday emulate Peyton Manning. I'm certainly not saying Newton isn't a gifted athlete, because he is that. But as far as leadership and professionalism, this young man has miles to go in that department. His all-about-me attitude, his immature behavior on and off the field, and his yet-to-be-tested greatness over time most likely cost the Panthers the game.

Yes, they won 15 regular games and the postseason, but Cam always had ample time and protection, to choose his targets when passing the ball. Certainly his running ability contributed to their awesome success. But when his time and protection were eliminated by the likes of the Denver defense, Cam Newton caved. You could see it on his face from the get-go. And again, when he couldn't find anybody open down the field because the Broncos covered like flies on shit, the Panther's quarterback became confused and ineffective.

Two examples in the game were very telling about how much growing up Newton needs to do to measure up to the likes of Peyton Manning, Ben Roethlesberger, and Tom Brady. In the fourth quarter, when Newton was stripped of the ball, instead of jumping into to retrieve it, he simply stepped back and let his men take the pain. Shortly afterwards, when Cam received a legal hit, he pleaded with the ref for a roughing-the-passer flag, and when he didn't get it, he rolled on the ground like a toddler having a two-year-old tantrum.

The DENVER DEFENSE DOMINATED the game. Their play made Cam Newton look like an ordinary quarterback who didn't have enough time or talent to make the decisions he needed to in order to overcome the onslaught of men on a mission.

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE DENVER BRONCOS, COACHES, PLAYERS, STAFF, AND OWNERS who made 50 years worth waiting for!  True Super Bowl Champs!