Many of Today's Women Say 'NO' to Marriage

I guess since I've been married for 51 years, I found it inconceivable that the women of today, especially in the 30-55 age group, were not interested in getting hitched. In my day, the usual age for females to wed was between 19 - 28, and if you hadn't found a man by age 30 chances are you were going to be an 'old maid'! EGADS! HEAVENS TO BETSY!

When I think of those times, back in the 50's and 60's, women didn't have the same advantages as they do currently. Our career choices were limited to becoming teachers, nursers, or secretaries. These types of jobs paid little, certainly not enough to be self-supporting homeowners. The other option was to stay at home, cook, clean, and look nice for your man. Usually the 'old maids' remained with their parents, living under their roof and rules until mom and dad passed. Only then did these 'poor souls' inherit the house which was already paid for so their responsibilities were minimal and opportunities nil.

Over the last few years, I've spoken to a number of  women who are not interested in getting married and offer viable reasons for their decision. Recently I had the pleasure of speaking with one such young lady nearing thirty, which by the way no longer carries the dreaded 'old maid' stigma, who explained in detail why marriage was not an option for her. Being college-educated, she holds a great job, manages rent, all the necessities of life and still has monies to occasionally splurge on herself, vacation from time to time, and do so without having the need to consult with a man about anything! She highly values her independence and freedom to do as she pleases and, most likely, will remain single at least for the foreseeable future.

This confident woman also told me she did not have the desire to be a mother.
These points are the gist for her reasoning:
1. Birthing a child would make her responsible for another human being for life.
2. Bringing a child in to the chaotic world we live in would make her feel extremely guilty.
3. She believed she did not have the patience for children.
4. If she were to become incapacitated, not being able to care for children would be devastating.
5. Being blessed with family members' children fulfilled any motherly instincts she possessed.

I was WOWed by the amount of time she'd spent considering marriage and motherhood. Not wishing to wed was suddenly not as inconceivable as I had previously thought, and actually was beginning to make sense!

Most of the women that were married and divorced uttered the same mantra, 'Been there, done that' and decided upon the single life henceforth.  These ladies were in the 35-55 age category, educated, career-oriented, self-sufficient, confident, and without commitment to one person. Their freedom to enjoy male company and the fringe benefits that go along with it were particularly important to all of them.

The reasons these women cited for their decision not to remarry were as follows:
1, Married too young and not ready to settle down.
2. Had to give up their aspirations in favor of their male partner making them feel less adequate.
3. Were mistreated in one way or another.
4. If having had children, fathers were minimally involved or not at all.
5. Having little to no input into how monies of the household were spent.

In most cases, marriage in their future was not even a close consideration.

After listening to all of the reasons today's women are saying 'no' to marriage, I realized they had valid objections and couldn't refute their decision. Although I still feel that marriage can be a lifelong partnership as it is for my hubby and me, filled with joy and contentment at times, discord and resentment at other times, and compromise most of the time, I now know that it's not for everyone.

For those who choose the single life, I not only support your choice, but applaud your courage to face everything that comes along with strength and conviction. I pray you are blessed with good fortune and good friends. I hope your dreams are fulfilled and life treats you kindly.

'I am Woman, hear me Roar' comes to mind...

Blessings and Peace!