Every human being goes through puberty so what's the big deal about making it the central theme in my latest novel? According to my daughter, Joy, the title, Pimples and Periods (When We Were Kids, Book 3), is going to put a lot of people off. Really? Although classified in the juvenile fiction genre, this tale is appropriate for ages 9 to 99! You're either close to being pubescent, are currently going through the throes of puberty, or can remember that time in your life as if it were yesterday.
Not only do I give accurate information about the process, but infuse a ton of humor to make readers see puberty for what it truly is, a Right of Passage. Girls are told about what happens to their bodies and why those changes are occurring in a delicate, sensitive manner. Boys learn why their voices change, why hair starts growing all over the place, and, the possibility of outbreaks of unsightly acne. In this tale, suggestions as to how to deal with ugly zits comes from such unreliable sources as younger sister, Betty Lou and Uncle Tom. However in My Letter To Readers, I direct kids experiencing skin problems to talk to their parents and find a professional to help eradicate this condition with effective treatment.
Our society today proclaims transparency at every turn beginning from the White House down to the everyday mom and dad who are proud to say they can talk to their children about anything. Really?
I don't know, but a number of young teens either lack even the most basic knowledge of what their bodies and emotions are about to experience, or have erroneous information they've gained from their peers.
Why parents feel so uncomfortable about "the talk" in our modern world remains a mystery to me. For this very reason, as a life-long child advocate, I was compelled to write Pimples and Periods to offer valuable information on the topic of puberty to both teens and adults alike. It can be used as a stepping stone to initiate conversation. In the back of the book I provide 10 Talking Points that cover just about every aspect of this Right of Passage. By using this helpful insert, your discussion with son or daughter can actually be informative and fun at the same time.
To me, Pimples and Periods, was the obvious title choice. I can't imagine calling it anything else and that anybody would be put off by it. Really!
Monday, August 11, 2014
Monday, August 4, 2014
WE GOTCHA!
A little more than two weeks ago my three adult children and their families came into town. Not unusual because they all make a summer visit but not necessarily at the same time. By the morning of July 19th we had 11 people in our house ranging in age from 78 years down to 15 months. My daughter, Joy, and her family of four were due in about three o'clock. Without much in the way of mathematical skills, I'm sure you figured out that that would make 15 rowdies eating and sleeping together in our three bedroom home. Out of this number, 6 were boys, ages 1-11 and 1 girl, age 8.
On Saturday, after awakening, washing up, and attempting to get themselves breakfast, the grandkids took to the backyard to conduct wrestling matches while the so-called adults plunked themselves down on the patio to set the agenda for the day. Though the plans for the morning were sketchy, we'd agreed to hit Kennywood Park after Gabe, the youngest, woke up from his afternoon nap. Right about then, Kaden, 7, was calling a penalty on Liam, 7 for unsportsmanlike conduct. Of course, Liam denied any wrongdoing and claimed his cousin was a baby. Somebody hit somebody with a hard ball and somebody was screaming bloody murder. After a while I purposely forgot who was being the aggressor and who was being aggressed. I find it's better to keep my sanity that way.
My younger daughter, Kristy, decided the best course of action was for the dads to take their kids to White Oak Park, a county green space, where their little darlings could let off some steam and hopefully stay in one piece before going to Kennywood. She suggested they stop along the way for a burger and then we'd have a more substantial meal later on at the park. Once they left, peace returned to the valley.
Kristy, Kelly, my daughter-in-law, and I sat outside and talked and laughed for at least an hour or two. Finally Gabe woke up and Kristy called her hubby, Todd, to get a bead on their location. They were still at Sumac Grove, the kids were having a ball running through the raindrops and didn't want to leave, so we decided we'd meet them there and head out together for Kennywood.
My husband and I drove our own car because if the baby tired at the park, we'd bring him home while the others stayed to continue riding the coasters and the other death-defying attractions. As we rode towards the back of White Oak, we noticed picnickers partying under pavilions because of the misty rain. I announced how badly I felt for them even though they seemed unphased by the weather.
Upon reaching Sumac, I spotted my son's truck parked among tons of other cars. I told my husband how rude it was of our kids to have taken up space in an area that had clearly been reserved by other's for their own purposes. When he stopped the car and got out, I assumed my hubby was going to apologize for his family's inconsiderateness. Instead three of my grandsons came running to the passenger side and were yelling something I couldn't quite understand. As I opened my door, they screamed, "Happy birthday, Grammy!" In no uncertain terms, I told them it wasn't my birthday and to get in their dad's vehicles so we could proceed to Kennywood.
But, as I looked around I spied my daughter,Joy standing with a crowd of family and friends smiling from ear-to-ear yelling, "We gotcha!" and then bursting into the birthday song followed by the Ole Gray Mare. Now my 70th birthday isn't until September so they had hatched the perfect plan to pull off a surprise party which they hadn't ever been able to accomplish before. I've always been the one to plan our celebrations and the one to surprise just about everybody in the family at one time or another.
The food was sensational, the games, robust, and the many well-wishes truly enjoyable. I received wonderful greeting cards, lottery tickets, and unexpected, but greatly-appreciated gifts. But what was and will always remain closest to my heart was that my children, their children, my family, and my friends took the time to celebrate my life in such a glorious, sneaky way. "We gotcha!" thrilled them to no end, and I must tip my hat to all of them since I never had a clue!
We partied hardy, cleaned up the pavillion, and headed back to our house. For the rest of the evening, the adults talked on the patio, the kids ran around catching June bugs, and the baby slept peacefully in the pack-n-play. Around midnight everybody found their spots either in a bed, on the floor or in a chair ready for a good night's sleep. I think they all dreamed of the look on my face as I realized they'd actually pulled the wool over my eyes. And, I'm sure they considered their dreams sweet! I know I did!
On Saturday, after awakening, washing up, and attempting to get themselves breakfast, the grandkids took to the backyard to conduct wrestling matches while the so-called adults plunked themselves down on the patio to set the agenda for the day. Though the plans for the morning were sketchy, we'd agreed to hit Kennywood Park after Gabe, the youngest, woke up from his afternoon nap. Right about then, Kaden, 7, was calling a penalty on Liam, 7 for unsportsmanlike conduct. Of course, Liam denied any wrongdoing and claimed his cousin was a baby. Somebody hit somebody with a hard ball and somebody was screaming bloody murder. After a while I purposely forgot who was being the aggressor and who was being aggressed. I find it's better to keep my sanity that way.
My younger daughter, Kristy, decided the best course of action was for the dads to take their kids to White Oak Park, a county green space, where their little darlings could let off some steam and hopefully stay in one piece before going to Kennywood. She suggested they stop along the way for a burger and then we'd have a more substantial meal later on at the park. Once they left, peace returned to the valley.
Kristy, Kelly, my daughter-in-law, and I sat outside and talked and laughed for at least an hour or two. Finally Gabe woke up and Kristy called her hubby, Todd, to get a bead on their location. They were still at Sumac Grove, the kids were having a ball running through the raindrops and didn't want to leave, so we decided we'd meet them there and head out together for Kennywood.
My husband and I drove our own car because if the baby tired at the park, we'd bring him home while the others stayed to continue riding the coasters and the other death-defying attractions. As we rode towards the back of White Oak, we noticed picnickers partying under pavilions because of the misty rain. I announced how badly I felt for them even though they seemed unphased by the weather.
Upon reaching Sumac, I spotted my son's truck parked among tons of other cars. I told my husband how rude it was of our kids to have taken up space in an area that had clearly been reserved by other's for their own purposes. When he stopped the car and got out, I assumed my hubby was going to apologize for his family's inconsiderateness. Instead three of my grandsons came running to the passenger side and were yelling something I couldn't quite understand. As I opened my door, they screamed, "Happy birthday, Grammy!" In no uncertain terms, I told them it wasn't my birthday and to get in their dad's vehicles so we could proceed to Kennywood.
But, as I looked around I spied my daughter,Joy standing with a crowd of family and friends smiling from ear-to-ear yelling, "We gotcha!" and then bursting into the birthday song followed by the Ole Gray Mare. Now my 70th birthday isn't until September so they had hatched the perfect plan to pull off a surprise party which they hadn't ever been able to accomplish before. I've always been the one to plan our celebrations and the one to surprise just about everybody in the family at one time or another.
The food was sensational, the games, robust, and the many well-wishes truly enjoyable. I received wonderful greeting cards, lottery tickets, and unexpected, but greatly-appreciated gifts. But what was and will always remain closest to my heart was that my children, their children, my family, and my friends took the time to celebrate my life in such a glorious, sneaky way. "We gotcha!" thrilled them to no end, and I must tip my hat to all of them since I never had a clue!
We partied hardy, cleaned up the pavillion, and headed back to our house. For the rest of the evening, the adults talked on the patio, the kids ran around catching June bugs, and the baby slept peacefully in the pack-n-play. Around midnight everybody found their spots either in a bed, on the floor or in a chair ready for a good night's sleep. I think they all dreamed of the look on my face as I realized they'd actually pulled the wool over my eyes. And, I'm sure they considered their dreams sweet! I know I did!
Monday, July 14, 2014
July 14th Declared, "DIGITAL BOOK DAY"
Normally I don't promote authors or books on my Monday blog. Although tempted, I never promoted my own books on this site save for the widgets you see flashing on the right of the page. But today I'm going to make an exception.
C.J. Lyons, a New York Times Best Seller, has declared Monday, July 14, as DIGITAL BOOK DAY! C.J has gathered notable authors from around the world to contribute their writings for free as a way of giving back to the millions of supporters who value good literature. I find her efforts to be extremely generous. The time she's spent in creating and promoting this event, the glitches she's had to overcome, and the continued advice she's given to neophytes like myself are to be highly commended.
C.J. Lyons is a selfless woman who is interested in showing society that reading is essential to both the young and the old and everybody in between. Children who first begin to read are elated; their feelings of accomplishment, independence, and creativity soar to highs they've never before experienced.
The elderly gravitate to books, magazines, and newspapers as a way of staying in touch with the ever-changing world. I know many seniors who have or who are about to lose their eyesight, and the first thing they express sorrow over is that they can't or won't be able to read. Luckily there are volunteers who faithfully visit these folks to do just that for them. Audio books are the best innovations since sliced bread as far as they're concerned.
As for the in-betweeners, so many are caught up in the zillions of modern technological gadgets that they overlook the value of a good book. Hopefully through the efforts of dedicated people like C.J. Lyons, they'll realize the error of their ways and return to that which replenishes the mind and excites the soul.
www.digitalbookday.com is the place to go today. Again, all offerings are #FREE. This site was experiencing overload earlier because of the number of people trying to gain access. I understand that the problem is currently being investigated and should be resolved shortly. Keep on trying. Your rewards far outweigh any bumps you might have to endure for the time being.
Hats off to C.J. Lyons. Tons of authors and readers are forever in your debt, C.J. myself being one of them!
C.J. Lyons, a New York Times Best Seller, has declared Monday, July 14, as DIGITAL BOOK DAY! C.J has gathered notable authors from around the world to contribute their writings for free as a way of giving back to the millions of supporters who value good literature. I find her efforts to be extremely generous. The time she's spent in creating and promoting this event, the glitches she's had to overcome, and the continued advice she's given to neophytes like myself are to be highly commended.
C.J. Lyons is a selfless woman who is interested in showing society that reading is essential to both the young and the old and everybody in between. Children who first begin to read are elated; their feelings of accomplishment, independence, and creativity soar to highs they've never before experienced.
The elderly gravitate to books, magazines, and newspapers as a way of staying in touch with the ever-changing world. I know many seniors who have or who are about to lose their eyesight, and the first thing they express sorrow over is that they can't or won't be able to read. Luckily there are volunteers who faithfully visit these folks to do just that for them. Audio books are the best innovations since sliced bread as far as they're concerned.
As for the in-betweeners, so many are caught up in the zillions of modern technological gadgets that they overlook the value of a good book. Hopefully through the efforts of dedicated people like C.J. Lyons, they'll realize the error of their ways and return to that which replenishes the mind and excites the soul.
www.digitalbookday.com is the place to go today. Again, all offerings are #FREE. This site was experiencing overload earlier because of the number of people trying to gain access. I understand that the problem is currently being investigated and should be resolved shortly. Keep on trying. Your rewards far outweigh any bumps you might have to endure for the time being.
Hats off to C.J. Lyons. Tons of authors and readers are forever in your debt, C.J. myself being one of them!
Monday, July 7, 2014
My Heart Cries Out, But My Resolve Grows Stronger!
Last week it was reported that a twenty-two month old toddler was left strapped in the back seat of his father's car for over eight hours. No one knows exactly when the baby succumbed to the heat, but I'm sure he suffered immeasurably for quite a while before suffocating. Perhaps the most heartbreaking part of this gut-wrenching tragedy was that he died alone.
The father says he thought he'd dropped his son off at daycare but doesn't remember doing it. The man had so much on his mind regarding work that he simply forgot. However upon investigation, the police discovered he'd been downloading pornography and emailing pictures of his privates for a good part of the day. With such stressful responsibilities resting on his shoulders, it's understandable he'd overlook something so insignificant as his two-year-old stuck in the sweltering heat with no water to drink or air to breathe.
At one point according to the press, this father actually returned to his car to fetch a forgotten item. Unfortunately that forgotten item wasn't his son.
While inspecting the man's computer, experts found he'd been searching the web on how long it would take for a child to die if left in a car on a hot day.
Yesterday, in a follow-up story, it was reported that the mother of this innocent victim had also been doing similar research. And her very first statement that she made to her husband shortly after his arrest was, "I hope you didn't say too much!" Oh the pain of a grieving mother couldn't be more evident in those seven sorrowful words!
Who does this? Two thirty-something narcissists whose only purpose in life is to satisfy their own wants. They care not for others. Once whatever prompted them to give birth was fulfilled, and the hard work of parenting set in, their young son became disposable. Finding a method to execute their plan was of utmost importance, neither one giving any thought to the pain and suffering they were about to inflict upon their helpless baby.
I've been a child advocate for most of my life. In my opinion, anybody responsible for the murder of a child to sate their own purposes should be subjected to the same kind of inhumane torture. I don't care what reasons they might offer for doing such a despicable act. I don't give a damn if they're mentally unstable, or were insane in that precise moment when they took a promising life. Bullshit to their excuse of doing it because the little one's incessant crying pushed them over the edge. And as far as the voices inside their heads made them do it, my comeback would most certainly be, JUST SAY NO, you asshole!
In this case, I would happily lock the two of them up in an overheated car myself and throw the key away. I would stand watching them suffer while drinking an ice-cold Pepsi. And I would hold up a picture of their twenty-two month old baby boy so his face would be the last thing they saw before their lights went out.
Unfortunately reports of this kind are becoming more and more common. I believe drastic consequences must be formulated and enforced in order to lessen such crimes. My heart cries out for this child, but my resolve to eradicate this type of evil is stronger than ever. To me, 'an eye for an eye' is the only justice acceptable for such selfish disregard for precious lives.
The father says he thought he'd dropped his son off at daycare but doesn't remember doing it. The man had so much on his mind regarding work that he simply forgot. However upon investigation, the police discovered he'd been downloading pornography and emailing pictures of his privates for a good part of the day. With such stressful responsibilities resting on his shoulders, it's understandable he'd overlook something so insignificant as his two-year-old stuck in the sweltering heat with no water to drink or air to breathe.
At one point according to the press, this father actually returned to his car to fetch a forgotten item. Unfortunately that forgotten item wasn't his son.
While inspecting the man's computer, experts found he'd been searching the web on how long it would take for a child to die if left in a car on a hot day.
Yesterday, in a follow-up story, it was reported that the mother of this innocent victim had also been doing similar research. And her very first statement that she made to her husband shortly after his arrest was, "I hope you didn't say too much!" Oh the pain of a grieving mother couldn't be more evident in those seven sorrowful words!
Who does this? Two thirty-something narcissists whose only purpose in life is to satisfy their own wants. They care not for others. Once whatever prompted them to give birth was fulfilled, and the hard work of parenting set in, their young son became disposable. Finding a method to execute their plan was of utmost importance, neither one giving any thought to the pain and suffering they were about to inflict upon their helpless baby.
I've been a child advocate for most of my life. In my opinion, anybody responsible for the murder of a child to sate their own purposes should be subjected to the same kind of inhumane torture. I don't care what reasons they might offer for doing such a despicable act. I don't give a damn if they're mentally unstable, or were insane in that precise moment when they took a promising life. Bullshit to their excuse of doing it because the little one's incessant crying pushed them over the edge. And as far as the voices inside their heads made them do it, my comeback would most certainly be, JUST SAY NO, you asshole!
In this case, I would happily lock the two of them up in an overheated car myself and throw the key away. I would stand watching them suffer while drinking an ice-cold Pepsi. And I would hold up a picture of their twenty-two month old baby boy so his face would be the last thing they saw before their lights went out.
Unfortunately reports of this kind are becoming more and more common. I believe drastic consequences must be formulated and enforced in order to lessen such crimes. My heart cries out for this child, but my resolve to eradicate this type of evil is stronger than ever. To me, 'an eye for an eye' is the only justice acceptable for such selfish disregard for precious lives.
Monday, June 30, 2014
We're In This Life Together
I try to walk our dog, Shadow, every day around the neighborhood. Granted, the weather dictates just how far and how long, but we usually pass by the same houses. I know most of the people on our route by name, and Shadow knows most of the dogs by smell.
Quite a number of these folks are elderly, so I always make it a point to greet them with a smile and a friendly hello. When invited, occasionally I'll sit down and chit chat for ten minutes or so. One couple in particular seems to look forward to my little visits. Mike and Doris are both in their eighties, both fraile, but although the husband is not very talkative, both are of sound mind and actually very witty.
Last summer I spied a 'for sale' sign in the back window of Mike's newly-purchased automobile. I was confused since I knew he'd purchased it only a few weeks prior. On the way back from our walk, I saw Mike outside, approached him and asked why he was selling it. He told me he could no longer drive because of his eyesight and didn't know what he was going to do in regards to shopping, doctor's appointment, etc.
I asked him for a piece of paper and a pen, jotted down both mine and my husband's name, and included our telephone number. I encouraged Mike to call us anytime, and if we were available, we'd be happy to drive him and Doris wherever they had to go. We're both retired and can afford to help out neighbors in need.
Several days later when visiting, I asked Doris if Mike had given her our information. She readily said that he had, but they just couldn't take advantage of us. They didn't want to burden others with their problems. Again I assured her they wouldn't be an inconvenience and to please let us be of assistance. She said if they really were stuck, Mike would give us a call. He never did.
Yesterday I stopped to visit for a minute. Doris was sitting on their concrete wall, Mike on the steps leading to the front door. Both looked extremely uncomfortable. I asked what happened to the outdoor bench they've always sat on under the front awning to keep cool. Doris told me it was in the garage, but too heavy for them to pull out. When I offered to get it, Doris emphatically stated that she'd rather I didn't. The dear old woman was afraid if I got hurt, I'd sue them. I assured her that if it was indeed too heavy, I'd summon my hubby to help me. I asked if I could at least go in and check it out. Reluctantly she agreed. A few minutes later, I was rolling the bench out on a dolly and had it positioned in their favorite spot in no time.
Tearfully Doris thanked me and handed me a tiny box with an Italian candy inside. I remember eating those when I was a kid. As I accepted her gift, I thanked her profusely for giving me the opportunity to be of service. Of course she said they were the ones who should be thanking me.
I'm not sure that Mike and Doris understand that they were gifting me much more by accepting my service than what I had actually done for them. As we grow older, we need to realize that we can still do for others by permitting others to do for us.
The one lesson we all need to learn is that being in need at anytime and asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a chance to teach others what they can do to better themselves.
We're all in this life together, so together let's make life better for everyone!
Quite a number of these folks are elderly, so I always make it a point to greet them with a smile and a friendly hello. When invited, occasionally I'll sit down and chit chat for ten minutes or so. One couple in particular seems to look forward to my little visits. Mike and Doris are both in their eighties, both fraile, but although the husband is not very talkative, both are of sound mind and actually very witty.
Last summer I spied a 'for sale' sign in the back window of Mike's newly-purchased automobile. I was confused since I knew he'd purchased it only a few weeks prior. On the way back from our walk, I saw Mike outside, approached him and asked why he was selling it. He told me he could no longer drive because of his eyesight and didn't know what he was going to do in regards to shopping, doctor's appointment, etc.
I asked him for a piece of paper and a pen, jotted down both mine and my husband's name, and included our telephone number. I encouraged Mike to call us anytime, and if we were available, we'd be happy to drive him and Doris wherever they had to go. We're both retired and can afford to help out neighbors in need.
Several days later when visiting, I asked Doris if Mike had given her our information. She readily said that he had, but they just couldn't take advantage of us. They didn't want to burden others with their problems. Again I assured her they wouldn't be an inconvenience and to please let us be of assistance. She said if they really were stuck, Mike would give us a call. He never did.
Yesterday I stopped to visit for a minute. Doris was sitting on their concrete wall, Mike on the steps leading to the front door. Both looked extremely uncomfortable. I asked what happened to the outdoor bench they've always sat on under the front awning to keep cool. Doris told me it was in the garage, but too heavy for them to pull out. When I offered to get it, Doris emphatically stated that she'd rather I didn't. The dear old woman was afraid if I got hurt, I'd sue them. I assured her that if it was indeed too heavy, I'd summon my hubby to help me. I asked if I could at least go in and check it out. Reluctantly she agreed. A few minutes later, I was rolling the bench out on a dolly and had it positioned in their favorite spot in no time.
Tearfully Doris thanked me and handed me a tiny box with an Italian candy inside. I remember eating those when I was a kid. As I accepted her gift, I thanked her profusely for giving me the opportunity to be of service. Of course she said they were the ones who should be thanking me.
I'm not sure that Mike and Doris understand that they were gifting me much more by accepting my service than what I had actually done for them. As we grow older, we need to realize that we can still do for others by permitting others to do for us.
The one lesson we all need to learn is that being in need at anytime and asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a chance to teach others what they can do to better themselves.
We're all in this life together, so together let's make life better for everyone!
Monday, June 23, 2014
16,790 Days!
16,790 days, give or take a few, refers to the number of 24 hour periods I've spent married to my hubby. Yesterday we celebrated our 46th wedding anniversary, and we're both still in it for the long haul. To say that every single minute of every single day has been gloriously happy would be a downright lie! To say that every single minute of every single day has been a living hell would also be grossly untrue! But, to say that every single minute of every single day has been worth it, is an extreme understatement because our life together has been exactly that, WORTH IT!
We were so young in 1968 and hadn't a clue what marriage entailed. We're, let's say, much older now, and I must confess at times still don't get it. Yet we keep trying because of our commitment to each other hasn't waivered one iota. When we spoke our vows to have, to hold, and to love, we meant it. When we agreed that for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or in health until death, we meant it.
We became parents to our beautiful daughter, Joy, seven months after we said "I do." Thirteen months later, our son, Barry, came along. Needless to say, with my hubby working eight hours to pay the bills, and me caring full time for two babies and holding down the fort, we had little time for each other. On most days, hellos, good-byes, and good nights comprised the totality of our conversations. Since we were only engaged four months after we met, and then married seven months later, we knew squat, one about the other. Heck, I didn't know what foods he hated which turned out to be that he loved everything except pigs feet and he didn't even know my full name, Florence Frances Agnes Kolton Barnett! I didn't know he wasn't a fan of the beach, and he certainly didn't know I would be a beach bum for the rest of my life without complaint. We both were guilty of not knowing one another's favorite color! Imagine?
But over the years we slowly realized that all of who we were and what we wanted out of life would reveal itself eventually. All we needed to do was pay attention. Sometimes when we did just that, our lives were blissfully happy. However when our observations diminished or were totally nonexistent, our lives were taken over by resentment and hurt. Arguments ensued and days of silence took over our household. Not only did we suffer, but our children did as well. Even though they were quite young, they felt the tension and disconnect. Seperately we tried to attend to the needs of our daughter and son, but know that their lives were negatively changed. How could they not be!
After decades of practicing to understand one another and make compromises for the good of our family, did our marriage improve immensely. Today we know pretty much everything about each other and accept the foibles and quirks the are part of our beings the we had a difficult time tolerating way back when. We laugh at how silly we were in trying to be right instead of being happy.
Oh, I would be remiss if I didn't mention out third child, Kristy, who was born eight years after her brother. Although I was highly upset at first, over time we both realized that she was the best thing that could have happened to us. We were older and had been there, done that already, but we were wiser, too. We not only had quality time with only one baby to care for, but we definitely made sure to be there for each other.
16,790 days seems like a long time, but actually it isn't. We still have a lot to learn about each other, and hopefully we'll have the time to do it. Our life together has been fruitful, we have seven amazing grandchildren to dote on. Have there been bumps along the road? Definitely!
But on day, 16,791, give or take a few, we're still commitment and it's 100% with out a doubt, WORTH IT!
We were so young in 1968 and hadn't a clue what marriage entailed. We're, let's say, much older now, and I must confess at times still don't get it. Yet we keep trying because of our commitment to each other hasn't waivered one iota. When we spoke our vows to have, to hold, and to love, we meant it. When we agreed that for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or in health until death, we meant it.
We became parents to our beautiful daughter, Joy, seven months after we said "I do." Thirteen months later, our son, Barry, came along. Needless to say, with my hubby working eight hours to pay the bills, and me caring full time for two babies and holding down the fort, we had little time for each other. On most days, hellos, good-byes, and good nights comprised the totality of our conversations. Since we were only engaged four months after we met, and then married seven months later, we knew squat, one about the other. Heck, I didn't know what foods he hated which turned out to be that he loved everything except pigs feet and he didn't even know my full name, Florence Frances Agnes Kolton Barnett! I didn't know he wasn't a fan of the beach, and he certainly didn't know I would be a beach bum for the rest of my life without complaint. We both were guilty of not knowing one another's favorite color! Imagine?
But over the years we slowly realized that all of who we were and what we wanted out of life would reveal itself eventually. All we needed to do was pay attention. Sometimes when we did just that, our lives were blissfully happy. However when our observations diminished or were totally nonexistent, our lives were taken over by resentment and hurt. Arguments ensued and days of silence took over our household. Not only did we suffer, but our children did as well. Even though they were quite young, they felt the tension and disconnect. Seperately we tried to attend to the needs of our daughter and son, but know that their lives were negatively changed. How could they not be!
After decades of practicing to understand one another and make compromises for the good of our family, did our marriage improve immensely. Today we know pretty much everything about each other and accept the foibles and quirks the are part of our beings the we had a difficult time tolerating way back when. We laugh at how silly we were in trying to be right instead of being happy.
Oh, I would be remiss if I didn't mention out third child, Kristy, who was born eight years after her brother. Although I was highly upset at first, over time we both realized that she was the best thing that could have happened to us. We were older and had been there, done that already, but we were wiser, too. We not only had quality time with only one baby to care for, but we definitely made sure to be there for each other.
16,790 days seems like a long time, but actually it isn't. We still have a lot to learn about each other, and hopefully we'll have the time to do it. Our life together has been fruitful, we have seven amazing grandchildren to dote on. Have there been bumps along the road? Definitely!
But on day, 16,791, give or take a few, we're still commitment and it's 100% with out a doubt, WORTH IT!
Monday, June 2, 2014
Why the Need to Defame?
Why is it that no matter what a person does, what extraordinary feat a person accomplishes, what horrific experiences a person endures, is it always necessary to spotlight something negative about him or her? Perhaps in finding fault, the person who does nothing, accomplishes little, and never suffers extreme pain or loss, can boast that their actions have never warranted criticism. What they fail to realize is that they've done nothing!
A soldier returns home from Afghanistan after being abducted and held captive for five years. This young man has undoubtedly been deprived of food, water, and most importantly his freedom. Assuredly he's been subjected to physical and mental torture by the Taliban. He has little to no contact with the outside world especially his family. His health is terribly compromised.
Then one day his country comes to his rescue and negotiates his release in exchange for five known terrorists. Although some may think such a bargain too high, what exactly is the right price for a man's life?
In our local paper, the headlines revealed that Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl from Iowa was most likely AWOL on June 30, 2009 at the time of his capture. Bummer, right? All of our elation and admiration for a twenty-three year old who went through such a terrible ordeal for five years has certainly been misplaced. The only thing such a coward deserves is our ridicule and disdain. Right?
After all, Sgt. Bergdahl admittedly criticized the military for lacking in leadership, caring little for the plight of the Afghan people, even going so far as to bully both soldiers and townsfolk for no reason. He says the U.S. Army is a joke. What kind of soldier rebukes his superiors and fellow servicemen in such a vile manner? Perhaps five years in Taliban captivity is exactly what this ingrate deserved. Right?
Wrong, and wrong! On the night in question, Bowe completed his surveillance duties and then asked if it would be a problem if he took his rifle and gear when he walked away from the outpost. Of course he was told that indeed it would be a problem.
At age twenty-three, Sgt. Bergdahl became disillusioned with the military he had once committed himself to much like becoming aware of an unfaithful wife who cared little for him and the dreams they'd once shared.
About 50% of the marriages in the U.S. end in divorce without societal rebuke.
Does the town newspaper headline the couple's split, highlighting her failure to keep the house clean, or his propensity to spend money on fast cars? Is their dirty laundry plastered across the front page so that we now view these two as unworthy of our sympathy? If jailed for their misconduct, would we rail against their release? I highly doubt it.
Certainly going AWOL was a serious mistake in judgement. But in this case, I believe Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl has paid a high price for his misconduct. Five years held by terrorists, tortured and abused, deprived of his very freedom was cruel and unusual punishment for his offense. He's finally home now, and deserves our understanding and compassion, not our ridicule and disdain. Let's rally around this soldier and his family and try to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he enlisted to serve his country, to bring peace to a war-torn, God-forsaken land even though it meant putting himself in harm's way.
This person did something, accomplished much, and endured pain and loss. Right? Why the need to defame?
A soldier returns home from Afghanistan after being abducted and held captive for five years. This young man has undoubtedly been deprived of food, water, and most importantly his freedom. Assuredly he's been subjected to physical and mental torture by the Taliban. He has little to no contact with the outside world especially his family. His health is terribly compromised.
Then one day his country comes to his rescue and negotiates his release in exchange for five known terrorists. Although some may think such a bargain too high, what exactly is the right price for a man's life?
In our local paper, the headlines revealed that Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl from Iowa was most likely AWOL on June 30, 2009 at the time of his capture. Bummer, right? All of our elation and admiration for a twenty-three year old who went through such a terrible ordeal for five years has certainly been misplaced. The only thing such a coward deserves is our ridicule and disdain. Right?
After all, Sgt. Bergdahl admittedly criticized the military for lacking in leadership, caring little for the plight of the Afghan people, even going so far as to bully both soldiers and townsfolk for no reason. He says the U.S. Army is a joke. What kind of soldier rebukes his superiors and fellow servicemen in such a vile manner? Perhaps five years in Taliban captivity is exactly what this ingrate deserved. Right?
Wrong, and wrong! On the night in question, Bowe completed his surveillance duties and then asked if it would be a problem if he took his rifle and gear when he walked away from the outpost. Of course he was told that indeed it would be a problem.
At age twenty-three, Sgt. Bergdahl became disillusioned with the military he had once committed himself to much like becoming aware of an unfaithful wife who cared little for him and the dreams they'd once shared.
About 50% of the marriages in the U.S. end in divorce without societal rebuke.
Does the town newspaper headline the couple's split, highlighting her failure to keep the house clean, or his propensity to spend money on fast cars? Is their dirty laundry plastered across the front page so that we now view these two as unworthy of our sympathy? If jailed for their misconduct, would we rail against their release? I highly doubt it.
Certainly going AWOL was a serious mistake in judgement. But in this case, I believe Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl has paid a high price for his misconduct. Five years held by terrorists, tortured and abused, deprived of his very freedom was cruel and unusual punishment for his offense. He's finally home now, and deserves our understanding and compassion, not our ridicule and disdain. Let's rally around this soldier and his family and try to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he enlisted to serve his country, to bring peace to a war-torn, God-forsaken land even though it meant putting himself in harm's way.
This person did something, accomplished much, and endured pain and loss. Right? Why the need to defame?
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