So I'm reading the morning paper when this casual headline, "Vet gets whopper of a send-off" catches my eye. But just because he up and died on January 20 of this year, David Klime Jr., 88 of York County had no right to steal one of my most cherished last wishes.
In the article it states that Klime "lived by his own rules." Big deal, I not only live by my own rules but insist that everybody around me embrace them as well. This guy loved the Burger King whopper, ate one every chance he got and considered the lettuce to be his daily allowance of vegetable intake.
Taco Bell's chili bean burrito is my idea of gourmet cuisine. And besides, I'm getting everything Klime gets without all the bun carbs. After all, a girl always has to be counting those nasty hip-hugger carbs.
So what does his family do? They direct the hearse and the rest of the procession to the drive-thru at Burger King for one last sandwich before heading to the cemetery's awaiting black dark hole. Everybody gets one including Klime who was known to the BK manager by face and order.
Well people, let me tell you that their idea is not original! Ten years ago when riding in a funeral procession of some beloved relative I loudly announced to my fellow mourners that when my time came I wanted the hearse to go by Taco Bell's drive-thru, order chili bean burritos for everyone and then hand the driver of the last car the bill! And I wanted them to make certain that the last car in line was one of my brother-in-laws whose wallet squeals when forcibly opened. He knows who he is.
That would be the happiest day of my life, or in this case the happiest day of my demise.
Although David Klime Jr. stole my thunder,I think my idea is much more laughable, and in the end, I get the last laugh! And for me that means everything!