Monday, February 19, 2018

A Life Partner? YES!

It matters not if you're 'Adam and Eve,' 'Adam and Steve,' or 'Eva and Reva,' all creatures big and small were meant to have a partner in their lives! Family is great, friends are fantastic, but your partner, the one who walks in this world with you in good times and bad and all the other times in between, is absolutely essential to your well being and happiness.

Before I continue, let me be very clear; in the realm of humanity I'm not saying you and your partner will be together from your first meeting to your last breath. Throughout your existence, you may find yourselves alone for many reasons:
separation, divorce, death. At times the circumstances surrounding a partner's departure is out of your control, but being able to move on with your life and find another person who completes you is definitely within your power, if only you have the courage to start anew.

So, why a life partner? I think the answer is a no-brainer! As physical, intellectual, emotional, social, and spiritual beings, having that one person who satisfies your needs, and supports you in becoming self-actualized is critical.Without that someone, there is a vital component missing that leaves you unfulfilled, unable to be completely you.

From the physical standpoint:

When you're young, finding that special person is exhilarating! The 'dating and mating' part of getting to really know someone leaves you both satisfied and wanting more in the same moment. Hugging, kissing, touching and being intimate is what makes being human so wonderful! And if these physical connections are not just 'hook-ups' as today's young people refer to having sex, but rather the developing of a true relationship with an eventual partner, so much the better! As you age, not that intimacy isn't important, but you take great pleasure in the little things partners do for one another as well. Holding hands, caressing a cheek, rubbing shoulders, even applying suntan lotion are physically satisfying when done by a loving, caring partner.

From the intellectual standpoint:

'Two minds are better than one' is a truism in my opinion. Being with a partner over time is extremely beneficial to intellectual growth. It doesn't matter who has the higher I.Q. because each has their own special talents. While one may be mathematically inclined, the other has exceptional literary skills. One may have an acute vision for detail, the other sees everything from a global perspective. Whatever their strengths, the two have the opportunity to learn from each other and become better equipped in areas where they once were lacking.

From an emotional standpoint:

Humans are highly emotional creatures. When happy, boy are we happy, and who doesn't want to have someone to share their happiness with! But when sad, tears flow and hearts break. When angry, ugly words fly, and doors are slammed hard! When depressed, silence is deafening, and confusion reigns. To be alone when bombarded with these types of emotion can be devastating.  Everybody needs someone to rely on, to care enough for them to help carry the load. When there is a comforting  partner in the mix, little by little a person can let go of such negative emotions, and the longer you've been together, the easier it is to be yourself without the threat of judgement or rejection.

From a social standpoint:

Just recently a dear friend of mine expressed her sadness about coming home to an empty house with so much to say and no one there to hear it. Humans are social beings. YOU DEFINITELY NEED A PARTNER WITH WHOM YOU HAVE AN EXTENSIVE HISTORY!  Having the same friends, visiting the same places, reading the same books, dining at the same restaurants, sharing the same life enhances your social experiences tremendously. And from these shared interactions, you deeply appreciate having a partner who easily identifies with the people you know, the places you've been, the books you've read, the restaurants you've patronized, and most importantly, the life you've shared!

From a spiritual standpoint:

Perhaps the spiritual connection between two people is the most important. Being there for each other when miles apart, having hearts and souls lovingly entwined, and unconditionally investing in your personal relationship gives each partner a sense of belonging and peace. And when all is said and done, isn't it that sense of belonging and peace each and everyone of us is searching for?

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I hope I've given you food for thought regarding the value of a life partner. I'm concerned about the folks who go it alone because I truly believe they're missing out on the very best humanity has to offer. If you notice, I never once mentioned marriage because taking that step is entirely up to the two of you. It isn't necessary to 'tie the knot' in order to live a fulfilling life with someone who loves and adores you and is willing to be there for the long run! Find that special person with whom you can willingly and happily share your body, mind and soul. Find that special person who is meant to be your life partner and nurture and treasure your time together!

Blessings and Peace











Monday, February 12, 2018

What IS 'Meaningful To Your Well Being?'

'To simplify is to make space for what's meaningful to your well being...' (SimplifyMagazine.com) 

After receiving this succinct definition of what it means 'to simplify,' on a Facebook post last week, I began to consider what exactly IS MEANINGFUL TO MY WELL BEING. What is it that makes me complete, whole, wanting nothing more? 


I decided the best way to approach this question was to close my eyes and let the answers appear in my mind. Besides the obvious, all the family and friend faces that immediately popped up, which contribute to my well being immeasurably, I awaited for the revelations I rarely, if ever, think of as making me complete, whole, wanting nothing more.

To my surprise, the first image I saw was the sky. Admittedly, I love to stand in the wee hours of the morning, and look towards the heavens, realizing there is someone greater than myself orchestrating our great, big, beautiful world. On clear days, when the moon and the stars are in their rightful element, I enjoy spotting the various astrological patterns. I wait for the dawn to arrive and marvel at her strength to conquer the darkness of the night. I suppose one could interpret this initial contribution to my well being as an embrace of faith, an awesome wonder of the universe, a creative and poetic nature.

Secondly, I was visited by a room full of puppies! It's no secret that I love all animals, and especially adore dogs.  Our Shadow is 15 years old and the absolute poster bearer of the saying, 'A woman's best friend!' Canines are remarkable in so many ways. They are loyal, calming, protective creatures that ask for nothing more than to be fed, watered, sheltered, and loved. They instinctively know when you are feeling sad, sick, or just in need of some cuddling. Shadow came into my life when I was at a very low point, and I sincerely believe that if she hadn't, my well being would have been greatly compromised. 

Finally I saw myself in a far away land. I didn't recognize the topography yet strangely felt quite at home.  It was an expanse of mostly green grass dotted with a few mature trees. There were no homes in sight, nor were there any types of transportation around. I didn't see any people, but somehow I didn't mind. I think it was the sweet silence that appealed to me. If anything is meaningful to my well being, it definitely is personal prayer and quiet meditation. When engaged in prayer and mediation, my body, mind, and soul are made whole, I am peaceful and want for nothing, and I am complete. 

Notice the void of material things in my quest to unravel what exactly is meaningful to my well being.  Yes, I do have a lovely home filled with a lifetime of treasured memories.  And, yes, I have everything I need to live happily for the remainder of my days on this earth. But should some unforeseen tragedy strike, and all of these comforts suddenly disappear, my well being would still remain in tact because it is fueled by faith, freedom, creativity, wonder, loyalty, prayer and meditation.

Blessings and Peace!









Monday, February 5, 2018

The 'C' Word

Nobody wants to think about it, talk about it, and certainly not hear it in a conversation with their doctors in regards to the results of a recent health assessment. I don't believe there is another word that strikes more fear into us than 'CANCER'! Yet everyday in every city in every part of the world people are diagnosed with one form or another of this devastating disease. With all the research, technology, focus, and money that has been poured into finding a cure, why do millions in this day and age still receive the tragic news that translates into a death sentence more often than not?

Seriously, I want to know the answer.  Our primary physicians, oncologists, and cancer specialists who work in the trenches day after day, watching their patients suffer excruciating pain, trying their very best with the treatments available to them, must also witness the wailing and heartbreak of the family who has just lost a mother, father, wife, husband, daughter, son to this monstrous avenger. I can't begin to imagine the degree of failure and guilt these doctors on the front line must endure time after time.

So again I ask why?  I know there have been great strides in finding cures for certain types of cancer, and if found at the onset, many can be relegated into remission for longer periods than ever before. I think these situations are indeed cause for celebration for those who have 'won the battle' at least temporarily.

But with cancer being around for decades, one would expect there to be much more in the way of curative progress than is currently available.  Testing should be more sophisticated by now, treatment more humane and effective, and results. definitely more positive.

My mind keeps returning to a day in the Sixties while sitting in a teachers' faculty dining room discussing the sad news that one of our own was diagnosed with cancer. Just weeks before, she appeared healthy and robust, but was now hospitalized with little chance of recovery. One of my fellow educators told of a letter she received from her sister. a nurse, who was working in a German hospital. According to what her sister had to say, there did exist a cure for cancer, but probably would never be utilized on the general public. The sinister  hypothesis she gave for why the cure would only be relegated to the 'chosen few' was monetary in nature.  Treating cancer patients had become a million dollar industry then. a billion dollar market today, and there was no way the medical establishment and pharmacutical companies were about to forego their profits in lieu of the peoples' return to health.

At the time, I thought the nurse's conclusions to be ludicrous, and didn't believe what she had to say for one moment. Surely the drugs being developed and the CEOs of the companies bringing them to fruition to provide hope and possible cures for cancer patients had the highest of intentions. Furthermore, I had no reservations about the medical profession's sincere efforts to wipe out this horrible disease before the end of the 21st century.

Sadly my Pollyanna attitude back then was just that, a pie in the sky belief that altruism would trump monetary gains every time, especially when people's lives were at stake. I'm a lot older now with cynicism replacing idealism at a rapid rate these days, and according to the odds-makers, a possible candidate for cancer myself at this stage of my life. Though I don't fear death, if I had the choice, I would definitely chose something other than the prolonged, agonizing suffering of cancer. Hey, having my parachute fail to open while skydiving, be eaten by a shark while swimming the ocean blue, or being trampled by an elephant while on safari, in my opinion, are far better ways of dying than being treated with chemo and knowing that after all the misery I would endure, and believing that I could have escaped the terrible pain if only those who could have prevented it would have!