At this time of year, when I sit back and count my blessings my heart is full and there's a smile on my face that could span the entire universe. They say a picture is worth a 1,000 words, so instead of reciting my most precious gifts in paragraph upon paragraph, I'll simple show you.
BRADY AND BRENNA
TYLER AND KADEN
BECKHAM, GABE, AND LIAM
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A BLESSED HOLIDAY FROM GRAMMY'S GANG
Over the weekend, I read an article where scientists are very close to being able to tell folks whether or not they'll be stricken with Alzheimer's disease when they hit their 70's. According to them, a simple blood test is all that it will take to let someone in their 30's know what their fate will be in later life.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Who in the hell wants to know they'll become mindless shells of a human being in their golden years when in their prime? So a first date might go something like this, "Hi, you look great tonight. Going to dinner will give us a chance to get to know each other better. I need to gain as much info. as I can now, since I've been tested for Alzheimer's and have been told I'll be afflicted with this terrible disease in the future."
"Hey, wait, where are you going? We haven't even discussed what type of food we're hungry for yet. I know a great Italian place a few blocks from here. Stop, I can't catch up with you. I'm having chest pains I'm having difficulty breathing.."
Heart attacks are not uncommon in young people when overstressed and constantly choosing pastas with rich creamy sauces and fatty meatballs. Well, at least he doesn't have to worry about suffering from Alzheimer's anymore!
Seriously, why would anyone want to know that they will be victims of this debilitating illness when they haven't yet enjoyed life to the fullest. Imagine their mindset. Thinking about what they will eventually endure can only minimize their quality of life to the point of deep depression and demoralization. The ability to form lasting relationships would be greatly compromised. Suicide would constantly be in their thoughts as a way of escape from the inevitable.
I'm 70 and thankfully still have my wits about me. So for now, taking a blood test to confirm the onslaught of Alzheimer's is out of the question. If defined symptoms of this disease would begin to pop up, that's when I'd decide whether or not to subject myself to science. And I really don't know if I'd want to know even then. Maybe just living every moment of every day no matter what my bodily and mental state might be, is enough for me.
Does my thinking seem selfish to you? What about my children? Who will have to shoulder the responsibility of caring for me? Listen, I have a right to be selfish. I've been selfless all these years tending to my family. I gave up a career early in my marriage to raise my three children. I could haved placed them in daycare and pursued my aspirations, but I didn't. I could have left the household duties to a cleaning service, but I didn't. I could have let my own mother live in a deteriorating area, but I didn't. I invited her to live with us and she did so comfortably for twenty years. I've put the needs of others before my own my entire life, and guess what? Doing so brought me more happiness than you could ever imagine.
Who will take care of me should I develop Alzheimer's? A nursing home designated primarily for Alzheimer's patients, that's who. I would never expect my children or grandchildren to be saddled with such an insipid situation. I wouldn't want them to shoulder guilt about putting me away, and would not want them to visit me regularly. Once a year bringing a pint of ice cream would do nicely.
Being aware of an existing blood test at the age of 70 for Alzheimer's is the time to deal with the possibility and not a second before. To know sooner is absolutely crazy! Who in their right mind would even consider such a ridiculous burden they'd have to carry for a lifetime!
From the title of this post, you'd probably think I'm in the Pacific sipping pineapple margaritas and nibbling on the nuts I love but can't remember what they're called. Well you'd be wrong. I'm actually in my living room about to go on a bus excursion to Latrobe, PA for an early lunch and a Hawaiian Christmas show. Since most of the people going are seniors, early lunch is mandatory. Oh, macadamians, that's what they're called. Not sure of the spelling at the moment though, but if you give me a while I'm sure I'll remember.
Don't know what's on the menu, however I'm looking forward to lunch. When you're my age, you'll eat anything that's put in front of you. If and when I'm carted off to a nursing home, I'll be a model resident. Clean my food tray, hold my bowels until I'm on the potty, and nap away the afternoon. After dinner, I'll repeat this sequence and be good til morning.
Oh yeah, the Christmas show. With it being a two hour performance, I hope it's loud and energetic. If not, a lot of the audience will either be taking a number of bathroom breaks or nodding off periodically. We're not rude, well not as often as you might imagine, but we're easily bored. Loud and energetic keeps us focused and engaged.
I hear there are going to be topless men girating around on stage with fire in their eyes and in their hands. Sounds like a party to me! Oh, I suppose there will be women, too, but I really don't care what they'll be doing. I'm not positive, but I doubt they'll be topless. Even if they were, I really wouldn't be watching them except maybe to see if any are more endowed than yours truly. Actually most women are more endowed than yours truly, but that's what padded bras are for, right?
Once the show is over, our group is going to some kind of cafe for hot chocolate and a potty break. That should take at least an hour or so. Forty seniors going to pee eats up a ton of time. Just pulling our pants up and down requires the eye-hand coordination we're somewhat lacking in now. Hey, when we were in our prime, pulling our pants up and down was a cinch. Maybe because we did it frequently and NOT JUST TO GO TO THE POTTY!
Our last stop is at the Overly Christmas lights display. We'll oooo and aaaaaaaah from the bus and then be dumped off to mill around on our own for another hour or so. I don't know what the tour director is thinking, but letting forty seniors wander around by themselves in a huge, unfamiliar area is MADNESS! Hey, I'm not the one that's going to be responsible for rounding them up, so I really don't give a damn!
If we all make it home and at this point it's questionable, we'll have had a great day and night of holiday cheer. At least that's what we'll tell everybody. Can't really say that we'll remember the entire sequence of events, but assuredly we'll know we had lunch and how many times we went to potty!
Maybe if Black Friday sales actually occurred on that day, I would be inclined to participate. But, Black Friday promos were going on four weeks before November 28. I purchased several gifts 10 days prior to BF at the same prices listed during the 'event'.
I was at the check-out counter at K-mart on BF (not for a sales item) and overheard a couple having a bit of a tiff about where they were headed next to get the best buys. The woman was adamant about continuing to shop, while the man was spewing disgust loud enough for me to hear. I turned and asked where she'd planned to go after K-mart, but before she could say anything, her hubby said with clenched teeth, "I HATE BLACK FRIDAY!" Although in my mind women are usually right when dealing with marital conflict, in this case I had to agree with the husband. "I HATE BLACK FRIDAY!"
The hype for BF begins right after Halloween and intensifies with each passing day. You simply can't avoid the frantic build-up because you're hit with media pitches from every angle. TV, newspapers, flyers, and internet ads are relentless. Every commercial, newspaper ads, and digital pop-ups reflect images of items you and yours can't do without this Christmas. After being brainwashed for that length of time, you find yourself purchasing things that weren't on ANYBODY'S LIST! Crazy, huh?
I have decided to begin a protest to ban BF. For heaven's sake, let's enjoy our Thanksgiving dinner without chomping on the bit to be first in line for the 6:00p.m. BF kick-off at most retail stores. Are you with me? Come on, people, you're being railroaded and perhaps because of all the turkey and trimmings we consumed, our brains are totally muddled, incapable of logical thought. Let's rise up and take back our ability to make choices based on need and want rather than on seemingly discouted prices. There is no such thing as a steal, unless of course you're in the business of highway robbery!
Furthermore, the junk that is being peddled to us and our kids these days is deplorable! Plastic, unimaginative crap is being tauted as a top ten item every child must have under their tree this holiday. We, the parents and grandparents, spend countless hours in search of whatever it is the kids must have only to see them unwrap and play with these gifts for 10 minutes, and then return to their wireless devices and favorite games.
If we can't see how ridiculous this yearly event is by now, let me remind you that today is CYBER MONDAY! You don't want to miss out on all the great deals being offered not only for the next 24 hours, but probably until December 24!
I HATE BLACK FRIDAY! I HATE CYBER MONDAY! AND I'M NOT GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DISAGREE!