Monday, March 25, 2013

Grammy Knows Best!

Spring in many parts of the country is blue skies, birds chirping, and a warm breeze floating by.  But, in Pittsburgh, PA, March is grey clouds, silence, and cold winds with snow five inches deep. 

So when I was rudely awakened today by the sound of shovel scrapes across frozen cement, I knew there was work to be done.  I hopped on my trusty broom and ( no, I am not a witch) began sweeping the heavy, wet white stuff from our 25ft. walkway that leads out to the street. Why venture to the street this early, you might ask?  Well, because the morning paper delivery guy always drops it there!  Otherwise I'd let the damn snow pile up to the rooftop and it won't bother me at all. 

You also might be inclined to question why I even get a morning newspaper.  Why not just jump on the internet and click on "News of the Day"?  Remember, I'm a grammy, and although I've embraced most modern-day advances, reading the happenings of the world and our community on a laptop iPad, or SmartPhone just doesn't do it for me.  There's nothing like sitting in my recliner with a steaming cup of java chuckling over the recent missteps of the federal, state, and local government knuckleheads.  If I didn't find it funny, I'd be in a mental ward suffering from severe depression.  And I just couldn't start my day without reading the hilariously true-to-life comic strips or the tear-jerking "Dear Annie" columns.  But I digress.  Back to the snow situation.

The shovel scraping that had been going on for at least thirty minutes was being done by my twenty year old neighbor from across the street.  She's a lovely girl who is doing her student teaching this year.  Megan was wearing winter attire that defied any type of coldness from reaching her tender skin.  I'll let you use your imagination to conjure up how she was dressed and what she looked like. Her strategy for snow removal was to dig deeply into it, laboriously lift each shovelful, and hurl it about two feet away in order to clear their 15ft.driveway.  Megan had to stop several times to regain her strength and her motivation.

I, on the other hand, stepped out into the inclement weather in my cotton robe, rubber-soled slippers, and, of course, my trusty broom. With one determined sweep on each step, I shifted the snow to the lef, did the same on the 25ft. walkway and was at the street in less than five minutes.  Just before I bent down to pick up the paper, I glanced Megan's way.  She, too, was looking at me.  I smiled; her face reflected bewilderment.  She then trudged up her driveway; I scampered over my walkway, up the steps and into the door where my steaming cup of java awaited.

The entire point of this whole story is to again show our young people that Grammy knows best and can certainly teach them some very important life lessons.  And in Pittsburgh, perhaps one essential lesson in March is choosing the proper attire for removing the snows of PA and the most efficient way of doing so! 

Pay attention, youngins, Grammy knows best and she does look smashing in her cotton robe, too!